“MADE IN NIGERIA”

If Nigerians start producing computers and mobile phones – not to talk of cars and airplanes – will our genitals be uprooted from its self-contain and be planted on our black foreheads? Do I even blame those that are in that field but refuse to produce? We call/see ‘Made in Nigeria’ products as substandard, fake, bad, this, that.

I really praise those our super talented athletes that choose to represent other countries at inter-national competitions – like the Olympics- rather than rep our beloved Nigeria. You know, some of them grew in the village/rural areas and now that Baba God has sugared their garri (cassava flakes) to travel ‘out’, which small witch will they give the sweet pleasure to add fine grains of golden-brown sand? The devil is a liar! Amen.

I also reserve great respect for those public officers (I-am-oga-of-my-own, don’t think you are spared), who travel all the way to India (abroad) for medical treatment. Haa, they just innocuously love seeing white doctors joorh. You know, white lab coat on white skin is an eye-seducing sight. Oh, maybe they just like the pleasure of fling when seek. You know, sleekness above the skies is like being pre-healed by God….. hmmm sub-heaven, like eating yellow ripe banana and white garri-fried groundnuts.

Almost finally, let us be on our feet and throw five big GBOSA to those bossing the Nigerian educational sector, yet their wards school in private schools, and abroad. Oh I get. Nodding vigorously – like an Agama – as the inspiration trips in. the courses their wards study are not offered in Nigerian institutions/ public schools.

Finally finally. To those of you that refuse to watch/patronize Nollywood movies. If it’s not Bollywood or the almighty Hollywood, you are to be counted out. I feel your pain.  A Nollywood movie is like a pot of half-done jollof rice, with oil swimming one way, pushing away the pepper and maggi (seasoning) to their own island.

“This nollywood movie is a crap, can you imagine someone shooting through a glass wall and – to the glory of God – the glass didn’t break, not even a crack, yet the bullet found itself soaked amidst cold blood, in the heart of the target!” Mary-claret, my cousin sister yelled to me after watching ‘Blood Money’ on youtube. A movie recommended by her classmate, Sabina. Me just stared at her four squared head as she ranted on like a parrot. It is the same Mary-claret that couldn’t act one Kobo in the youth church’s drama group oh.

Back to the matter, all those that see ‘Made-in-Nigeria’ as substandard, the thunder that will come after you, I pray it will be nine-month pregnant! I drop my blue ink Leo-smart pen.

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